when he called and said, " eh, lately i've been blog hopping. and i noticed u got a son ? " I really wanted to remove Eleo from my blog. No, i am not ashame of Eleo. I just hate the fact tt someone i hate is staring at my precious baby boy . yuck. total turn off .
Good Morning the night is over and gone I thought once this dark would last for so long
Feel the sunlight on my face You have brought me through this place
Jesus, Jesus You found me Through the long night you led me You set me free
Do you see just what You've done in my life? You gave me more than I hoped for now I
I've been finding this song as i forgot the tittle. really touching song. I like.
was a little annoyed today and frustrated with myself as i smartly lost my hp charger. I guess to some extent, i dislike myself for my flaws. why would i even lose my stupid charger? it really annoyes me because i feel useless. -sigh.
when i am annoyed i really dont like speaking. its not because i am angry at others, but i just find it hard to accept this stupidity that i can even forget my charger when it is important to me. i sometimes wish that when i am angry i can just tell the person comforting me that am alright, i just need to cool down. but when i open my mouth, i sound so annoyed, so pissed off i rather keep quiet so i dont give people the wrong impression.
today i am happy. i dont know why, just happy randomly. i was walking walking then i just decide to sing some worship song. it is good to be happy. but i dont know if it is beause of school work that i am starting to be unhappy. maybe becos kerwin pointed out to me that i no longer say "great" when people ask me how i am doing. and he did say i become pessimistic too. isit true? is school taking a toll on me? is that why i'm loving church so much?
Dear God, I want to run. Run far far away where it is just me and you. I want to breathe and to cry. I want to scream and to forget. the hassle and buzzle of this city. oh great ! i rmb. i rmb why i am unhappy. too many people i'm watching now makes me doubt my faith, my beleive in human. i dont understand. i dont understand self-proclaimed christians who act in manners, in ways that repel others. i dont understand why do people act so differently, or so hypocritically. i know i know, i should have spent more time thinking more productive thoughts, but then ... i dunno eh ... -sigh
Proverbs 18 talks about how a fool speaks without thinking or is unwilling to listen to others and accpet only his believes/ thoughts. there is this guy in class, and once he decided on something, the entire team has to listen to him and if they dont like his idea, he only convinces ppl that his idea is best, and he wont listen to others. i wonder, when i am stuck with this guy in the same team, how would i cope.? how how should i behave that will not reflect me as un-christ-like in this context. Dear God, prepare me for the day.
Oh, and i went tracking today wth Jaz, Seb & WM. & we saw monkeys. Jaz & I had classic reactions. we both screamed and refuse to walk pass the monkeys because we believe the monkeys would come and attack us (=.=)|| LOLS.
i'm suppose to update ! so i'll do a tiny update ...
i've often said God is awesome. & He is. Like my real papa, every Sunday he dutifully wakes me up to Attend church. I ever said a prayer, 1 that I forget very frequently, but God never forgotten. I prayed that every Sunday God will wake me up in time to go to church, and he did that every Sunday. Just for me I believe x)
today I was ready to lie in bed and not wake up. I was soooo burned from late night out yesterday. But jea woke up 1st and prepare then woke me up. I was telling Jea, “I so lazy to go churchhhhh”, then jea very smartly asked me, “so u’re going to abandoned God?” and that’s it, I’m awake.
In church, after sister Tammy finished speaking, I was just saying, “I would have regretted if I didn’t come today.” Isn’t God just awesome? He always wakes me up and every Sunday is a day for God to come into my dreams and gently shake me up.
God is good. Each of us have our own testimony about Him, I just wish more people would have more time for God to listen to Him and experience Him.
On Sat I went to a doll meet with Sebby! I would say it was nice to just randomly chat although I really dunno what to say sometimes :x and I saw cute little Flo ~ xD
Shall upload her pics when I steal it from Sebby :D
i dreamt of myself holding Eleo. I dreamt of him smiling at him, then i dreamt of him saying mama. I rmb being so happy. So happy that he was with me. I put Eleo down ran to Jasmine shouting, " Jas, Eleo's here! He's back with me! Jas, look! Jas look! "
Jas gave me a very confused look, saying, "Jael, how can Eleo be with you?"
and i just happily told her,"he is! he is!"
Jas follwed me to see what I could show her, very certain I didn't have Eleo with me.. When I reached the place where i lay Eleo, I couldn't find him. I panicked immediately, and i started crying and asking, "where's Eleo? WHERE'S ELEO ?!!!!"
Jas was so lost but she told me so gently, as if used to this sight, "Jael, Eleo's not here. He's not with you."
I cried, I cried so hard. Then somehow I realized I was dreaming and I really REALLY didn't want to wake up. But I was crying so hard, I woke up with tears still flowing. And I continued to cry.
It was so hard to explain how much I didn't want to wake up. I so much wanted to go back into my dreams where I was holding Eleo, where I was watching him smile. It was so painful. Everything was so painful.
I couldn't cheer up. For a long long time I couldn't cheer up.
I took some pics for the fun of it..
when Sebast saw this pic, he asked, "huh? u crying on the bus?"
Ans, "No, I wasn't crying, but yes I feel so much heartache that this look came out so naturally."
this was the 1st eddited pic. soon after i took.
this was eddited after i came home. and this picture wasn't posed. I accidentally press the "snap" button.
it came out well enough and apparently the best to show my heartache.
i actually feel alittle bit lost. a little bit lost in my world. my words seem to become a place of complete blank . with no lines or shapes or anything. just like a clean piece of paper.
when he called and said, " eh, lately i've been blog hopping. and i noticed u got a son ? " I really wanted to remove Eleo from my blog. No, i am not ashame of Eleo. I just hate the fact tt someone i hate is staring at my precious baby boy . yuck. total turn off .
Good Morning the night is over and gone I thought once this dark would last for so long
Feel the sunlight on my face You have brought me through this place
Jesus, Jesus You found me Through the long night you led me You set me free
Do you see just what You've done in my life? You gave me more than I hoped for now I
I've been finding this song as i forgot the tittle. really touching song. I like.
was a little annoyed today and frustrated with myself as i smartly lost my hp charger. I guess to some extent, i dislike myself for my flaws. why would i even lose my stupid charger? it really annoyes me because i feel useless. -sigh.
when i am annoyed i really dont like speaking. its not because i am angry at others, but i just find it hard to accept this stupidity that i can even forget my charger when it is important to me. i sometimes wish that when i am angry i can just tell the person comforting me that am alright, i just need to cool down. but when i open my mouth, i sound so annoyed, so pissed off i rather keep quiet so i dont give people the wrong impression.
today i am happy. i dont know why, just happy randomly. i was walking walking then i just decide to sing some worship song. it is good to be happy. but i dont know if it is beause of school work that i am starting to be unhappy. maybe becos kerwin pointed out to me that i no longer say "great" when people ask me how i am doing. and he did say i become pessimistic too. isit true? is school taking a toll on me? is that why i'm loving church so much?
Dear God, I want to run. Run far far away where it is just me and you. I want to breathe and to cry. I want to scream and to forget. the hassle and buzzle of this city. oh great ! i rmb. i rmb why i am unhappy. too many people i'm watching now makes me doubt my faith, my beleive in human. i dont understand. i dont understand self-proclaimed christians who act in manners, in ways that repel others. i dont understand why do people act so differently, or so hypocritically. i know i know, i should have spent more time thinking more productive thoughts, but then ... i dunno eh ... -sigh
Proverbs 18 talks about how a fool speaks without thinking or is unwilling to listen to others and accpet only his believes/ thoughts. there is this guy in class, and once he decided on something, the entire team has to listen to him and if they dont like his idea, he only convinces ppl that his idea is best, and he wont listen to others. i wonder, when i am stuck with this guy in the same team, how would i cope.? how how should i behave that will not reflect me as un-christ-like in this context. Dear God, prepare me for the day.
Oh, and i went tracking today wth Jaz, Seb & WM. & we saw monkeys. Jaz & I had classic reactions. we both screamed and refuse to walk pass the monkeys because we believe the monkeys would come and attack us (=.=)|| LOLS.
i'm suppose to update ! so i'll do a tiny update ...
i've often said God is awesome. & He is. Like my real papa, every Sunday he dutifully wakes me up to Attend church. I ever said a prayer, 1 that I forget very frequently, but God never forgotten. I prayed that every Sunday God will wake me up in time to go to church, and he did that every Sunday. Just for me I believe x)
today I was ready to lie in bed and not wake up. I was soooo burned from late night out yesterday. But jea woke up 1st and prepare then woke me up. I was telling Jea, “I so lazy to go churchhhhh”, then jea very smartly asked me, “so u’re going to abandoned God?” and that’s it, I’m awake.
In church, after sister Tammy finished speaking, I was just saying, “I would have regretted if I didn’t come today.” Isn’t God just awesome? He always wakes me up and every Sunday is a day for God to come into my dreams and gently shake me up.
God is good. Each of us have our own testimony about Him, I just wish more people would have more time for God to listen to Him and experience Him.
On Sat I went to a doll meet with Sebby! I would say it was nice to just randomly chat although I really dunno what to say sometimes :x and I saw cute little Flo ~ xD
Shall upload her pics when I steal it from Sebby :D
i dreamt of myself holding Eleo. I dreamt of him smiling at him, then i dreamt of him saying mama. I rmb being so happy. So happy that he was with me. I put Eleo down ran to Jasmine shouting, " Jas, Eleo's here! He's back with me! Jas, look! Jas look! "
Jas gave me a very confused look, saying, "Jael, how can Eleo be with you?"
and i just happily told her,"he is! he is!"
Jas follwed me to see what I could show her, very certain I didn't have Eleo with me.. When I reached the place where i lay Eleo, I couldn't find him. I panicked immediately, and i started crying and asking, "where's Eleo? WHERE'S ELEO ?!!!!"
Jas was so lost but she told me so gently, as if used to this sight, "Jael, Eleo's not here. He's not with you."
I cried, I cried so hard. Then somehow I realized I was dreaming and I really REALLY didn't want to wake up. But I was crying so hard, I woke up with tears still flowing. And I continued to cry.
It was so hard to explain how much I didn't want to wake up. I so much wanted to go back into my dreams where I was holding Eleo, where I was watching him smile. It was so painful. Everything was so painful.
I couldn't cheer up. For a long long time I couldn't cheer up.
I took some pics for the fun of it..
when Sebast saw this pic, he asked, "huh? u crying on the bus?"
Ans, "No, I wasn't crying, but yes I feel so much heartache that this look came out so naturally."
this was the 1st eddited pic. soon after i took.
this was eddited after i came home. and this picture wasn't posed. I accidentally press the "snap" button.
it came out well enough and apparently the best to show my heartache.
i actually feel alittle bit lost. a little bit lost in my world. my words seem to become a place of complete blank . with no lines or shapes or anything. just like a clean piece of paper.
Profile
Commonly Know as hhisprincess online.
A 1 year closer to Jesus every o1o8
Precious-ly Loved by Jesus Christ
Blessed Mummy
Growing up, trying to understand what I live for.
In this blog, I write entries to my son whom I had put up for adoption on 6th Mar 2010 due to personal circumstances.
A Blessed Mummy Of ONE
Eleo's (陈乐恩) the name, delivered on 5th March 2010 at Gleneagles Hospital by Natural Delivery w Forceps
This blog consists of memories towards my babyboy.
Even if u were to judge me, Eleo will ALWAYS be a part of me.
Skin by LiyanaVansX.
Images from weheartit.
Beautiful colour palette by drooling.
Do tell me nicely if I've used your stuff withough crediting, thanks.
