PEACE
Thursday, April 22, 2010 @ 6:51 AM
| 3 notesi've been staying in a single room in the hospital for 3days now. i thank God that HE has given me this 3days of alone time.
in this alone time, i had friends visting. i made friends, maybe aquintences with the nursesand cleaners and the lady who serve food. they come with a smile ready to share. to brighten my along time in here.
but most importantly, my Abba Father has given me time to be with HIM. i wake up to lonliness but i break into a song of praise and worship. i stare out into the windows to carsand buildings, but i find myself praying. i sit on my bed rotting, but find myself listening to the LORD. my Father has brought me peace. peace above the storm in my life.
let me talk about my situation. which many of u don't know. The doctors have confrimed i have womb inflamation (not the exact term), and if not properly treated, Eleo would be my only and my last son. If not properly treated, i may lose my ability to become pregnant again, i may become baren. honestly, i wouldnt say i'm scared. i had this feeling for awhile now that 1day i may have to tell my husband-to-be i will not be able to give him children of our own. my insticts have become so strong now, i seriously think i wouldnt doubt this instict too.
of course i pray it to be untrue. i'd be shattered if i cannot have my own kids. i will likely try to kill eleo's dad.. but that doesn't seem the case. im sitting infront of this laptop in peace. wiith abit of tears streaming down my face, but im at peace. i have this peace, this faith that it will not be true. I know my LORDwouldn't deprive me. and even if HE did take that from me, I'm sure HE has HIS plans.
i will never be able to explain this feeling. i just know its there. infact,when i dun tell ppl whr i am, its nt becos i dun welcome u. its just that, the time i spent with u, i could have spent it with my LORD. maybe im scared. maybe. i wouldn't know.
PEACE
Thursday, April 22, 2010 @ 6:51 AM
| 3 notesi've been staying in a single room in the hospital for 3days now. i thank God that HE has given me this 3days of alone time.
in this alone time, i had friends visting. i made friends, maybe aquintences with the nursesand cleaners and the lady who serve food. they come with a smile ready to share. to brighten my along time in here.
but most importantly, my Abba Father has given me time to be with HIM. i wake up to lonliness but i break into a song of praise and worship. i stare out into the windows to carsand buildings, but i find myself praying. i sit on my bed rotting, but find myself listening to the LORD. my Father has brought me peace. peace above the storm in my life.
let me talk about my situation. which many of u don't know. The doctors have confrimed i have womb inflamation (not the exact term), and if not properly treated, Eleo would be my only and my last son. If not properly treated, i may lose my ability to become pregnant again, i may become baren. honestly, i wouldnt say i'm scared. i had this feeling for awhile now that 1day i may have to tell my husband-to-be i will not be able to give him children of our own. my insticts have become so strong now, i seriously think i wouldnt doubt this instict too.
of course i pray it to be untrue. i'd be shattered if i cannot have my own kids. i will likely try to kill eleo's dad.. but that doesn't seem the case. im sitting infront of this laptop in peace. wiith abit of tears streaming down my face, but im at peace. i have this peace, this faith that it will not be true. I know my LORDwouldn't deprive me. and even if HE did take that from me, I'm sure HE has HIS plans.
i will never be able to explain this feeling. i just know its there. infact,when i dun tell ppl whr i am, its nt becos i dun welcome u. its just that, the time i spent with u, i could have spent it with my LORD. maybe im scared. maybe. i wouldn't know.
