Post
Saturday, April 3, 2010 @ 8:56 AM
| 0 notesQuestion : Should I just delete Eleo off my blog?
No, not totally off my life, just outta my blog, outta public eye. Having him here makes me feel safe. If there's a guy wooing me, I'd be more than happy for him to see Eleo on my blog and bug off.
I feel so ... ... bugged, so scared, so nervous. Coming near to me, trying to get close. IDK. Is it my lose in trust towards others? I'm getting along with my friends but when random people try to get friendly, try to come near. I'd repel them striaght away. I wish it was just my instinct trying to protect me.
But I want to delete him away because I want him to be mine forever. I don't want to share him with the world anymore. The happiness when he was just born, is gone. now, i wanna kep him tucked into my memories. maybe it's my old self returning... The delutional-self. The delutional part where i want to be nothing but perfect .
* it's so painful God.
Is this the 1st time I'm admitting it?
Dear God, the pain in here, I cannot control.
I cannot control myself.
My imperfection has caused me to somewhat come to hate myself.
My imperfection makes me feel so tainted.
I know, I know, You've forgiven me.
But it's me. It's me who cann't forgive myself. *
ohgod. I want to cry. But i don't know where to go. what to do. how to channel this negative energy away.
eleo eleo sweetheart babyboy
mummy's aching breaking down
心痛比快乐跟真实。
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Post
Saturday, April 3, 2010 @ 8:56 AM
| 0 notesQuestion : Should I just delete Eleo off my blog?
No, not totally off my life, just outta my blog, outta public eye. Having him here makes me feel safe. If there's a guy wooing me, I'd be more than happy for him to see Eleo on my blog and bug off.
I feel so ... ... bugged, so scared, so nervous. Coming near to me, trying to get close. IDK. Is it my lose in trust towards others? I'm getting along with my friends but when random people try to get friendly, try to come near. I'd repel them striaght away. I wish it was just my instinct trying to protect me.
But I want to delete him away because I want him to be mine forever. I don't want to share him with the world anymore. The happiness when he was just born, is gone. now, i wanna kep him tucked into my memories. maybe it's my old self returning... The delutional-self. The delutional part where i want to be nothing but perfect .
* it's so painful God.
Is this the 1st time I'm admitting it?
Dear God, the pain in here, I cannot control.
I cannot control myself.
My imperfection has caused me to somewhat come to hate myself.
My imperfection makes me feel so tainted.
I know, I know, You've forgiven me.
But it's me. It's me who cann't forgive myself. *
ohgod. I want to cry. But i don't know where to go. what to do. how to channel this negative energy away.
eleo eleo sweetheart babyboy
mummy's aching breaking down
心痛比快乐跟真实。
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
