Post
Friday, May 28, 2010 @ 12:06 AM
| 1 notesi sometimes wish everything doesn't have to be this way. when things make a complex turn, i feel so lost. like nth should have happened.
在爱情里一定要有人受伤吗？
为什么一切不能像童话故事里的简单？
when people self-harm, everyone tells them, "why are u so stupid? why are u so silly?", But they don't hear the ineer crys that says " I don't want to die, but I'm crumbling so much inside I wish I was died."
the tears on my face now isn't because of BGR, if someone tells me now I should run, I should leave & stop talking to these people, I would. But they're not the cause of my tears, they're not the cause of my pain. they're just the snapping point of my pain. I finally understand that everytime I cry when I see Leonard is not because of my anger towards him, it's not because i hate him, its not because I havn't forgiven him. It's bcus looking ay him, I miss my baby boy so much. Only today, only now, with me crying my entire heart out that i realized i never gotten over it. i never cried after all these. i bore everything and moved on in life. but i nv realized, i 4got. i 4got that that the wound's still thr, and as i refuse to nurse it, it's eating into me. it's tearing intomy heart.with evryday tt i ignore the pain, it jus makes evrthing worse. i want so badly to scar his name on my heart, yet i cnnt. i promised so many people i wun agn be so stupid as to scar myself. but i dunno. i dunno hw to direct this pain.i dun wan to b alone. pls, someone, keep me busy, kep me occupied. the wound's so raw if i tocu it i'll be in so much pain. pain tt i cnnt describe. i'd giv up the world. i'd giv up the world to b w my son agn. i've been comforting myself for so long i 4got to tell myself i need to nurse this wound. i've been running for so long. at this moment, i cnnt i cnnt touch my pain.
when i say im ok, it just means, im crumbling inside but i dun want you to worry so i'll say i'm ok.
Post
Friday, May 28, 2010 @ 12:06 AM
| 1 notesi sometimes wish everything doesn't have to be this way. when things make a complex turn, i feel so lost. like nth should have happened.
在爱情里一定要有人受伤吗？
为什么一切不能像童话故事里的简单？
when people self-harm, everyone tells them, "why are u so stupid? why are u so silly?", But they don't hear the ineer crys that says " I don't want to die, but I'm crumbling so much inside I wish I was died."
the tears on my face now isn't because of BGR, if someone tells me now I should run, I should leave & stop talking to these people, I would. But they're not the cause of my tears, they're not the cause of my pain. they're just the snapping point of my pain. I finally understand that everytime I cry when I see Leonard is not because of my anger towards him, it's not because i hate him, its not because I havn't forgiven him. It's bcus looking ay him, I miss my baby boy so much. Only today, only now, with me crying my entire heart out that i realized i never gotten over it. i never cried after all these. i bore everything and moved on in life. but i nv realized, i 4got. i 4got that that the wound's still thr, and as i refuse to nurse it, it's eating into me. it's tearing intomy heart.with evryday tt i ignore the pain, it jus makes evrthing worse. i want so badly to scar his name on my heart, yet i cnnt. i promised so many people i wun agn be so stupid as to scar myself. but i dunno. i dunno hw to direct this pain.i dun wan to b alone. pls, someone, keep me busy, kep me occupied. the wound's so raw if i tocu it i'll be in so much pain. pain tt i cnnt describe. i'd giv up the world. i'd giv up the world to b w my son agn. i've been comforting myself for so long i 4got to tell myself i need to nurse this wound. i've been running for so long. at this moment, i cnnt i cnnt touch my pain.
when i say im ok, it just means, im crumbling inside but i dun want you to worry so i'll say i'm ok.
